I have no idea how to begin writing about what happened in Paris on Friday. It was an evening just like any other. And by 9pm, the stress of the week was starting to melt away into the excitement of the weekend to come. We were enjoying a lovely evening out with one of our good friends at a Thai restaurant in our neighborhood, laughing over good food and decent wine. About the time that we got dessert, our friend received a text message from her colleague asking if she was ok. Thinking it was a mistaken text, she wrote back and said "of course", and asked whether or not the friend had sent the message to the wrong person. She had not; but had seen the news that people had been shot and there were explosions around the city. And that is how we found out that Paris was once again under attack. People just like us across the river were murdered while they ate, drank, laughed, cheered, danced, sang. They felt safe, and were living peaceful lives on a beautiful Friday evening with their friends and loved ones. They had plans for the weekend, and dreams for the future, just like us. And I still cannot believe what happened. How could 130 of those who went out on Friday night never go home again? How can 350 others have been wounded, many of whom are still in the hospital? Parisians are in shock, and the worse part about all of this - above the senseless loss of life - is the deep sense of personal attack on every day life in Paris for people just like me, Michael, our friends, our colleagues, our neighbors. Today, Michael and I walked from our apartment across the river to the site where four of the attacks took place, which is about 3.5 miles from our home. The sun was shining, and it was an otherwise beautiful mid-November day. There did seem to be fewer people out and about in some places. But many had gathered at the restaurants and cafes which were attacked on Friday to pay respects and leave flowers, candles, prayers, momentos, tears. Although there were many people gathered at each of the locations, an eerie silence permeated the streets. In fact, it was shockingly quiet. What is there really to say... Here are a number of photos that we took this afternoon; Michael's photos are mixed in below with mine. Some are not easy to see, so I am making the thumbnails small and warning you in advance if you're not quite up for the images. I feel in some way like I don't have a right to feel sad about all of this - Michael and I are alive and healthy, and none of our friends were directly affected. It is the survivors, the wounded, the families of those who died, who have the right to grieve for what happened.
But the rest of me knows that is not true. We are all affected by what happened in Paris this weekend, and I can't help but feel traumatized and shocked by proximity. It is hard to digest when this kind of thing happens so close to home. Again. This is our anniversary weekend. We had planned to go to a Christmas Market at the American Church, and a local flea market on Rue Cler on Saturday, and had booked a mini-getaway to Disneyland Paris today and tomorrow for our actual anniversary. All of those events were cancelled due to ongoing security threats, and the current state of emergency that prohibits crowds from gathering until at least Thursday. And we are the lucky ones. We woke up this morning and made pancakes, and then walked around Paris on an extraordinarily beautiful Sunday afternoon. And tomorrow, I will wake up and tell my husband that I love him; and that I am grateful for every second that I have known him; and that I am so lucky to have spent the past two years as his wife. Tomorrow I will be grateful.
2 Comments
Mama Hogge
11/16/2015 01:35:45 am
You and Michael are among the lucky ones as are we for not losing either or both of you in this horrible, senseless act of terrorism. You two could have very easily been at any one of the attacked venues. I don't believe any of us will take our precious lives for granted anymore. We were very blessed to be able to wake up today next to the one we love most and tell them how much we love them. My heart grieves for those who will never be able to do that again. Love you both so very much.
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Shannon Burns
11/18/2015 12:30:15 pm
..truly an ineffable experience..For you Kelsey and Michael..I was in iloilo in the Philippines when i heard the breaking news...We can see each other again..God willing....but those who died..I can only weep..no words....
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